“WILL YOU STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR USELESS BROKEN SWORD!!!” shouted Short-arse.
“I would also appreciate a little more finesse,” said Jandyr, whilst calming hacking apart his zombie counterpart.
“#Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbarian…,” sang the Wizard, now up to his waist in sand. The zombie Barbarian had been kept confused by the Wizard’s vocal displays whilst Trogdar hacked wildly at its remaining limbs.
“WHY… WON’T… YOU… DIE..?” grunted Trogdar between swings, the few that connected with the zombie Barbarian sending blood and viscera everywhere.
“Because you’re hitting me not him!” said Short-arse as she chopped the Dwarf zombie cleanly in twain.
“#You come and go… you come and goooo… WAIT!” the Wizard suddenly exclaimed mid-lyric. Almost immediately the sands which had been pouring through stopped. “The Winds of Magic have returned to me! FREEZE!”
The zombie wizard which up until now had been successfully battering Trogdar around the head immediately exploded from within, his brains and intestines landing over the unfortunate Berserker.
Trogdar suffered a complete meltdown. He had had a terrible day, and now with zombie guts all over him, he could finally muster the rage to release his inner fury. He swung his broken sword back in a wide arc and hacked through the zombie Barbarian’s chest in one swing.
He turned to the other warriors, his face a crimson mask of gore and slowly let a magnificent grin of pearly whites cross his features.
“Well, glad you’re feeling better,” said Short-arse, though she sounded a little unnerved, “Let’s see what we can do about getting out of here, eh?”
“I can see a chink of light up there, high on the wall,” said Jandyr, peering behind the Wizard.
“How are we going to get up there?” asked Short-arse.
“I suggest we pile the sand in that corner,” replied the Elf.
“Allow me,” said the Wizard, raising his arms to the side and above his head. A cold wind surged through the room and lifted the sand high in the air… which proceeded to freeze and fall straight back down as painful hail on the Warriors.
“Sorry…” came the bashful response.
After 10 minutes of piling the frozen sand against the corner, the Warriors finally managed to claw their way into a dark, musty passageway beyond. There were 3 archways leading into similarly-darkened rooms.
“Which way?” asked Trogdar having managed to calm down by sweeping sand.
“I suggest the doorway over yonder,” said Short-arse, “seems as good as any.”
The four warriors walked over to the archway and peered inside. As with the rest of the dungeon, the room was littered with bone fragments, though there appeared to be one large, flat bone fragment sticking bolt upright from the centre of the room.
“It must be a trap,” whispered Trogdar, “If we’ve learnt nothing else from today, it’s that this place is full of traps.”
“So what do you suggest?” enquired Jandyr.
“Watch,” said Trogdar. He paused for a second to compose himself before running at full pelt into the room and smashing the bone fragment out of the floor. It skittered away across the floor and came to rest in front of an ancient sarcophagus propped up in the far corner.
“AH HA!” cried Trogdar in exultation.
There was silence for a few short minutes before the rest of the troupe wandered in behind him.
“Good work Trogdar,” said Short-arse in what passed for a comforting tone, “You sure showed that bone who was boss.”
“I don’t understand,” said Trogdar in bewilderment, crossing over to pick up the bone. As he examined it in the light from his lantern, he noticed a keen edge and what appeared to be a grip. “I think it’s a sword,” he said, turning round and holding it up for the others to see.
There was a loud creaking sound as the Sarcophagus lid slowly opened behind him. From the darkness, a pair of blue orbs flickered into existence, and a shrill cry echoed throughout the chamber. Trogdar didn’t even turn around.
“Oh crap,” he said.